POP WORDS

 

INTRODUCTION

Language in all its forms is a happening thing and being the senior groover that I am, I’ve tagged my top ten inanities of the spoken and written domains. Any suggestions regarding titles to be added to the list would be welcomed.

THE TOP TEN

We need to have a conversation

When a sprouting babe enters the world in 2019, his/ her immediate needs won’t be nourishment or warmth but to become engaged in a bloody conversation………. if only at babbling levels. Such is the prevalence and ‘outreach’ of this simple statement. Whilst it is most recognisable in oral mode, you do see increasing examples of it in print. ‘Conversations’ infest news and current affairs shows and ‘having one’ is seen as the panacea for all life’s ills and monstrosities. An actual listing of how many, and who, should be participants in scheduled ‘conversations’ is never revealed but I’m guessing the more the merrier, depending on the topic of course. The new stadiums being erected in Sydney could well be booked out for decades to come. Strangely, having a conversation is routinely geared towards the future rather than the here and now which sort of makes the whole process useless by my reckoning.

VARIATIONS- a part of the conversation.

It’s a worthy cause

This is a definite evergreen but it’s one that truly grates. What happens if punters are inclined to donate money or time to an ‘unworthy’ cause? Surely, that is their right if they so choose. Anti-discrimination laws should be primed to protect such benefactors. Cue in that ridiculous ice bucket challenge thing that was all the rage some years ago. I’m pretty confident that a worthy cause was the recipient of the entire frozen largesse. I also remember that only ugly, conservative and dull seniors accepted the challenge. After all, George W Bush televised his bucketing around the globe. Say no more.

VARIATIONS- It’s a very worthy cause; It’s for a worthy cause; It’s all for a worthy cause.

On the planet

As the default navigational setting for lifestyle and infomercial travel shows, On the planet has fast become the gold standard for descriptive tripe. Stuff doesn’t have to be the best in the world anymore. On the planet assures any location a Mayfair-style listing that is unique both in quality and manufactured credibility. Senile 80s rock stars and withered television presenters coalesce to offer a limp challenge to the language that even some idiots would confront.

VARIATIONS- Nowhere else on the planet.

Iconic

This inhabits the same stable as the previous entry. The Sydney Opera House is most certainly iconic…….. but so is every other fuckin’ thing on the planet. You just know that you’re dealing with an illiterate unit when iconic is posted or said.

Intuitive

Intuitive is the adjective of the gods and it’s everywhere now. Not only do you hear it incessantly in spoken mode, but if a prospective employee doesn’t type it at least 5 or 100 times in his or her résumé, then the fortune teller/ psychic down the road in the new age hypermart gets the gig.

VARIATIONS- mindful, resilient, empathetic.

The spend

I have no problems with verbs being used as, or turned into, nouns. The opposite process is also cool. I’m pretty sure that on the verb-noun spectrum, I’m guilty of skating along the baseline and committing venial sins on the way here and there. When caught out, my worst penance was reciting three Hail Marys while sitting on a boiling kettle. But there are limits.

The spend has become uncomfortably present as a ‘sometime’ alternative to ‘finances’ or ‘available funds’. Politicians reference the spend to reinforce their altruism and civic duty and I guess we should all be grateful that readies might be coming our way. Significantly, the spend usually involves billions but you had better not investigate the logistics and deconstruction of the beast because that’s plain unAustralian and, besides, it might bite you. Marxian economics has no equivalent to the spend.

The build

The build and the spend are so closely related that if they married, a new genre of grotesque music would be created. But for my money (no pun intended), the build is the real champ. How else can one account for such a stupid term? ‘Construction’, ‘building’ and even ‘renovations’ take a back seat when the build is on.

As far as I can work out, the build refers to capital works programs and, again, politicians, bureaucrats and half-arsed administrators form encounter groups to workshop different ways that it can be uttered and written down.

The most recent example I’ve seen occurred in print when a local primary school principal added this pearler to the joint’s regular newsletter….

What a delight it was to have the NSW Premier visit the school yesterday to engage with students and see where the new future-focussed build will be going and the upgrade of the school buildings!

Now I’m not the quickest but isn’t any type of construction ‘future-focussed’? Biology dons may even go so far as to suggest that all primate activity is underwritten by an intent directed towards times to come. Does anybody check this rubbish before it’s published? Perhaps more importantly, does anyone understand it?

VARIATIONS- The future-focussed build

Bae

Seeing this a lot on social media sites. I think that it’s human-like of either gender. Have no idea really but I’m guessing there’s some connection to ‘babe’ or ‘significant other’. Don’t get me started.

OTHER- Aww thanks hun, Oh me gawd/ goodness, I swear.

What does it look like?

I’ve often thought that training and development merchants should invest in a decent set of glasses or, at the very least, have their eyesight professionally tested. The number of times I have heard a keynote speaker, a seminar leader or someone in a suit ask this question leads me to assume that pay rates for toastmasters might not be as large as one would assume. Specsavers could be an economical alternative.

OTHER- Drill down, unpack, backmap.

Good food, good wine and good company

The far too frequent facebook description for dunderheads’ nights out on the town. Good food, good wine and good company attracts all the complexity normally associated with the holy trinity. Is each component independent of the others or do they form a divine entity garnished with an after dinner mint? Me? I prefer ice cream and caramel sauce anointed with a flat white. Stuff the company!

ALLIED- Enjoy (as in ‘command’ mode)

TO CONCLUDE

If you’ve pegged me as an increasingly irrelevant boomer screaming out at a dynamic and fun-filled world (sorry, ‘planet’), you are correct. Affirmative, I recognise and adhere to the linguistic principles of any language being constantly in a state of flux and changing content/ form. I also bow before the survival of the fittest explanation for usage but you have to shake your head at some current manifestations of the lingo and where our thinking might lie.